tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15202171300067773972023-06-20T19:22:54.657+05:30Squinty Perception Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13995052457348077374noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1520217130006777397.post-76534746485110927862015-09-11T23:18:00.001+05:302015-09-11T23:18:18.088+05:30Kafkasque <p dir="ltr">I am coming to terms with the reality, with the fact that I'm mediocre that I am not special in anyway I wish to be. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I am just another guy with the same limited set of skills that most have and will lead an uneventful, ordinary life, if lucky I'll get a job which are hard to come by, doing something which can be done by millions of guys who have the same degree as me and are equally or more skilled, and maybe in future, robots Will be used for what I would do. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I realise that I'm just playing different characters, at home I am " the son" , maybe if we tweak my parents minds to accept a well earning, grateful, well behaved and educated robot as their son , they won't even notice any difference, in other places I am "the friend"  but, who are we kidding here? </p>
<p dir="ltr">everything and everyone is replaceable even friendship, even love, there too it's rather easy to let go off me , it's tough to let go of the idea of me but not me, so the question here is what to do when you find yourself in a position like me, the answer is simple and it comes in various sizes from .22 to 1 and ironically they are all measured in caliber funny how that sounds so much like calibre, and you will see that a lot of people would volunteer to help you, give you reasons to live, say that you matter to them, but no don't give in to this honey trap, again it's their love for the idea of you not for you, they'll look for a light at the end of the tunnel, the tunnel of your soul but that's the extent to which even the most benevolent go, to the range their eyes permit them to look, they don't love you enough to risk getting lost in the dark finding the light that may or may not be hidden. </p>
<p dir="ltr">you'll hear things about change, about the prospect of letting go, they'll preach travel and spirituality, basically anything to keep your mind off the fact that you are what you are and maybe it's good, but they'll never stop expecting you to improve <br>
You'll always be rated, graded, you'll be told of many things which you can be! </p>
<p dir="ltr">But, is it worth it? </p>
<p dir="ltr">You can deceive them easily, pose as a optimistic person, smile and say you would never give up and see how it works, but deep inside you will know what you are, who you are </p>
<p dir="ltr">So my question is do you have the courage to do the needful? , to be a martyr of your sanity, we live in a world where being opaque and insensitive is a virtue, where brilliance is accepted and mediocrity is celebrated, where you'll be taught the concepts of entropy and nonchalance will render you a charisma, you will be implored to be vulnerable, but the moment you do that you will be helped, counseled and fed notions of how it's a dog eat dog world, of how only the fittest survive, the world will teach you how wrong it is to kill and still cheer for the gladiator drenched in blood, you'll see how the sum of your life is spent doing things which serve no one but you and yours<br>
<br>
So I again implore you to answer the question I asked, to resolve this dilemma I have <br>
It's either I live long enough to be cured and be one of them, the kind who sleep content and in peace with the fact that everything is temporary and replaceable, even you, or do I die! </p>
<p dir="ltr">Yes, die as the last sane person. </p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13995052457348077374noreply@blogger.com0Shirdipuram, Shirdipuram23.180988 77.421425tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1520217130006777397.post-66578263518211733032015-04-13T12:37:00.001+05:302015-04-13T14:52:29.375+05:30Wag this way <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Today is the day I turn 15, old age has started to affect me, I am no more the nimble beast I used to be, I fear that there may come a day when I just go senile, but until that happens I am for now a cranky senior citizen, if you are wondering that how can a 15 year old be an old person, then congratulations, you belong to the second most narcissistic species (after cats) there is, who go by the moniker 'humans'.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I always had a tough life, the textbook 'dog's life', I never knew who my father was, I always had to bark and bite to get through life, all the women I came across in my life have literally been bitches, but still i am grateful for not being born as a human. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I was born near a slum, in an area where toddlers were clothed no more than I was, ate nothing different from what I ate and had the same insecurities that I had, but I saw them sad and angry, all because of the need to preserve their human dignity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I would eat out of a trash can, drink out of a thrown one, walk naked on the streets and yet feel good about myself, so for these specific reasons I thank the creator who blessed me with a dexterous tail rather than a self conscious, self depreciating brain. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As you all know how cuddle worthy and adorable we are as puppies, it was just a matter of time before I was picked up as a play buddy by some kid and indeed it happened one day, two boys came, mongrels like I was and we stuck a camaraderie, what started with a few biscuits finally resulted in them taking me home and my mom was true to the name (bitch) and was happy to see me leave. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">They were in a phase where the concept of rich and poor was yet to sink in, we played in the mud, we rejoiced in the rain and by the fires we danced like there was no worry in the whole damn world. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I was with them, when their parents fought, when they were sent to do their chores, or when their parents needed some privacy, or when they ran from the frequent wrath of their drunken fathers, in short I was with them for the whole time a human from an impoverished home can be allowed to be a child, because as it stands for now, childhood, teenage etc are all a concept rather a reality meant only for the rich, in a world where every morsel requires a blood sacrifice, innocence is but a useless obligation much less a virtue. As they grew up I was given a name, Jaggu, they called me and I too deciphered that the kids know till now as munna and babua were Yatharth and Adarsh. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Yatharth was the pragmatic one, the scarcity of money and due respect from the society embittered him, he was a Rebel, a renegade, he believed that in a world where money is the master, everything is a lie, he was enraged by the seasonal philanthropists, their fake tears, he could see them flinch at the stench of the slums, their game face they wore to mask the disgust they had for them filthy lot!. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Adarsh to be more accurate was an oddity, even though he was a slum kid, he had an aura of nobility, while other kids were fast asleep, he was up waiting by the tap to have a bath, he had for the greater part of his life followed a self imposed moral code, which placed him at odds with Yatharth who believed that he was too saint like to survive in this country. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Yatharth was a con, a thief, he was what you wanted him to be if you pay well enough, bikes mobiles and every other thing he had swindled at some point of time and yet being a con didn't have any repercussions on his conscience, though he easily could have been one, he was never a pimp, he was repulsed by the act of trafficking for the pleasures of the seedy underbelly of the society, but rather than cherishing this inability, he was angry at his emotions which came in the way of him having a prosperous life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Adarsh on the other hand, was a man who angers the flawed humans, he was selfless, he worked three jobs, all meagre, all petty, but his job was that of a teacher, for the slum kids, he brought them books, toys and apart from that he worked with the police as an informant, he was thrashed countless times by the drug and trafficking mafia, had it not been for Yatharth, he would have been dead by now. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Their friendship was a turbulent one, Adarsh loathed the fact that he was under the protection of a goon, he was repulsed by the fact that he had Alliance with a thief and ostracized Yatharth every chance he got. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Yatharth was fed up with his idealistic bullshit Adarsh was so full of, but deep within protecting him was his salvation, the bonds of mud which bound them ran stronger than the ties of blood, but all this, he kept within, on the surface he yelled curses and called him an ungrateful swine. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">both live on, walking on two different paths, a dog's life is too short to form conclusions, i have seen them both from the beginning, but sadly wouldn't be alive to witness the end, their struggle, their unending quest to achieve social status or rather social acceptance transcends the ideals of good and bad, they carved their own ways, but eventually, they too will find peace in their Graves. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As for me, I am just a shabby mongrel, I have a fickle heart and alas! life is even meaner than a bitch!, for me there is no such thing as hard earned bread, flour is flour, bought with money however dark and murky or earned righteously tastes equally good to me, I go to them both, eat both types, and wag my tail for the time that I have left.</span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13995052457348077374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1520217130006777397.post-3320242927659765772014-07-13T01:39:00.001+05:302015-09-12T01:00:29.843+05:30The Promise <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="border-bottom: solid #4F81BD 1.0pt; border: none; margin-left: .65in; margin-right: .65in; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid #4F81BD .5pt; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0in 0in 4.0pt 0in;">
<div class="MsoIntenseQuote" style="margin-bottom: 14.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 10.0pt;">
<i> I lie in my bed
with numbness gnawing away at my soul, the eerie silence broken by the
occasional beep of the heart monitor, I wriggle away in pain when I am awake I
scream in agony when I wake up from my dreams I curl up into a ball with knots
of self pity and anger holding me in my place.</i></div>
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<br></div>
<div class="MsoIntenseQuote" style="margin-bottom: 14.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 10.0pt;">
<i> Just the one
thing which saves me from darkness is a single warm memory, it flickers away
like a candle in the wind, vulnerable yet strong, I feed on that memory, I find
solace in the fact that I still have </i></div>
<div class="MsoIntenseQuote" style="margin-bottom: 14.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 10.0pt;"><br></div></div>
<h1>
A year earlier<span style="font-variant: small-caps; letter-spacing: .25pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></h1>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis">Amidst the valleys in a
serene place, there were two who were lying gazing up at starlit sky</span><span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="color: windowtext;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"> No matter how far they saw only dewy grass
with beads of snow engulfed them, all within the cusps of the snow capped
mountains, they felt tiny among the mountain yet looking into each other's eyes
they felt infinite.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"> it so happened that they watched a shooting
star, she asked him to promise him a wish, whatever it may be, he asked for
nothing as he already had her, he agreed to her whim as he was helpless bound
by her doe like eyes which reflected the moon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"> As for her she wished to wish something but
could not ask for anything more at that moment, yet she felt the need if not
for gain then At least to bind the moment with something rigid so that the
memory always shimmers no matter how many eons go by <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h1>
At Present</h1>
<h4 style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
(Mayuri
lay in bed with contraptions of every kind around her, and swollen eyes of her
family and friends are witness to her suffering, she had been assigned a
psychologist who goes by the name of Pratyaksha)<br> <o:p> </o:p></h4>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<i>Pratyaksha: it's been four weeks since you suffered the acid attack;
I am here to listen to your account and to help you overcome it, to come to
terms with the reality </i></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<i>Mayuri: reality! that's a funny word, when you have been
through what I have endured the word seems so irrelevant doc, I can't stand to
look at the mirror I loathe to hear this voice of mine, it's like my whole
existence has been an illusion, I may come to terms with the world again but
never again would I truly be able to comprehend the concept of reality </i></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<i>Pratyaksha : Your face may still be repairable, you need to
be optimistic you must set an example</i></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<i>M: I am not weak doc, nor do I lament for the loss of my
beauty, don't ask me to be brave! </i></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<i>In My dreams I suffer the attack every day </i></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<i>I Remember how they tossed me about like a toy, I screamed my
lungs out in defiance, I remember the stench of liquor on their breath, I gag
every time I remember, I shudder when I remember how they shoved the acid down my
throat, I stopped screaming then but that didn't stop them!, they tore off my
clothes and like that was not enough they doused me in acid and left me burning
both inside and out!</i></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
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<div class="MsoIntenseQuote" style="margin-bottom: 14.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 10.0pt;">
<b><i> I lay there
helpless for hours, with each second parts of me died, I ceased being daddy's
little princess, I was no more than a nameless ghost, I deal with the torment
even now, I envy the corpse that I was about to become than the person I am
now! </i></b></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<i>Pratyaksha: I hope you will come out of your agony soon, and
I sense that the young man outside will have a part to play in it </i></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<i>(Pratyaksha leaves enter Akshansh) </i></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<i>Akshansh: hello beautiful! </i></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<i>Mayuri: sarcasm? </i></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<i>Akshansh: no! Relief, now our complexions match, no more will
I hear the taunts of me being a monkey with the princess </i></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<i>Mayuri: you're a dog!</i></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<i>Akshansh: woof! Now stop moping and take your meds </i></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Mayuri smiled but was pained
by what Akshansh had to endure, although he remained the clown for her sake his
swollen eyes betrayed him, she could feel his agony when he kissed her, she
could feel his self loathing when he stared at her scars, she may be the one
who was burned but the inferno scorched him equally </span></span></h3>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoSubtitle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Akshansh was at a loss at why he couldn't cry, he felt
stranded and miserable yet tears chose to abandon him, it was not the scars of
her face that bothered her, yet when the memory of her smile or the dimples
which popped up when she laughed, the frown which crept up her face, the
freckles which reddened when she was angry haunted her like a ghost, how could
they not it was like a painting whose canvas was torn. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoSubtitle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoSubtitle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But he missed her voice even more the one which was as
annoying as loose Change jingling in the pocket when he was angry at her and as
soothing as a lullaby more often than that <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoSubtitle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoSubtitle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> He was
grateful that she endured the attack but the void left due to it was forever
empty, he tried to fill it with rage, with thoughts of vengeance but that
seemed just to fill but a small part of the void which seemed to be a vicious abyss. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoSubtitle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoSubtitle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> He dreamed
every night the same dream in his dreams she was chased by the wolves, no
matter how much he stabbed or shot the fangs ripped her apart <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoSubtitle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoSubtitle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> She was as
proud as a Peacock as was her name but now she was broken, no matter how strong
she projects herself, he saw right through the facade <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoSubtitle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoSubtitle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br></div>
<h4 style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Due to the infection which festered in the
wounds Mayuri's health worsened her kidneys were giving up unable to cope with
demands, so was her liver, yet for the sake of her parents, for the countless
women who looked up to her she carried on.<br> <o:p> </o:p></h4>
<div class="MsoSubtitle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Yet one day when her lungs ached with every
breath she took she decided not to torment herself and Akshansh anymore, she
was expecting Akshansh to visit her and was happy to see him arrive </div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
Mayuri: Akshansh do you remember that night?</div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
Akshansh: yeah all of them, which one are you referring to?</div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
Mayuri: that night under the valleys where I asked you to
promise that you would grant me a wish</div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
Akshansh: yes I remember my fingers still tingle thinking
about it, I feel the dew on my eyes like it was yesterday </div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
Mayuri: I think I am ready to make the wish, come closer. </div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
Akshansh: I love you with all my heart but what makes you so
cruel!</div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoSubtitle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
(Akshansh
was weeping the tears which abandoned him for so long finally came raging in
like a tempest)</div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
Mayuri :you promised me and I want it fulfilled I told you
well before I am quite stubborn, after all you always knew I was high maintenance
type</div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoSubtitle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Akshansh
chuckled at her sly remark yet he was bound by his word he granted her wish and
turned to leave, never to be seen again </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<h1 style="margin-top: 0in;">
A year later </h1>
<div class="MsoSubtitle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Pratyaksha
was standing amidst the same Valley Mayuri talked about, she understood now how
it helped her overcome her grief, she walked down towards her Lodge which was
newly built along the foothills and was shocked to see Akshansh there, on further
enquiry she came to know he owned that place </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
Pratyaksha: you loved her didn't you? She was lucky to have
you, she told me about the promise you know it's nice to see you honor her
memory like this she was indeed lucky </div>
<div class="MsoQuote">
<br></div>
<div style="border-bottom: solid #4F81BD 1.0pt; border: none; margin-left: .65in; margin-right: .65in; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid #4F81BD .5pt; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0in 0in 4.0pt 0in;">
<div class="MsoIntenseQuote" style="margin-bottom: 14.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 10.0pt;">
Akshansh: I loved her enough to be able to kill her,
even this chilling cold ceases to worry me, I walk through hell each night, I
walk upon a bed of coals yet I feel brave, At least I loved her enough to let
her go!</div>
<div class="MsoIntenseQuote" style="margin-bottom: 14.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 10.0pt;">
<br></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoSubtitle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
(Akshansh
turned and left to take a stroll) </div>
<div class="MsoSubtitle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"> Pratyaksha stood there
shivering with grief and pity at the same time, she knew what he meant and
remembered how they thought Mayuri died in her sleep yet as she understood the
gravity of Akshansh’s words she knew he had killed her, she considered handing
him over to the police but then he saw in the lobby a photo hanging beside a
vase of black roses, there weas blood still fresh on the thorns and beneath Mayuri's
smiling portrait were words scribbled in crimson <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div style="border-bottom: solid #4F81BD 1.0pt; border: none; margin-left: .65in; margin-right: .65in; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid #4F81BD .5pt; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0in 0in 4.0pt 0in;">
<div class="MsoIntenseQuote" style="margin-bottom: 14.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 10.0pt;">
“The price I paid to keep my word </div>
<div class="MsoIntenseQuote" style="margin-bottom: 14.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 10.0pt;">
And the
crazy things I did for love" </div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<br>
<div class="MsoSubtitle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
She
decided to leave Akshansh as he was, forever trapped in his own prison </div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13995052457348077374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1520217130006777397.post-27707695730623281942014-05-04T04:38:00.001+05:302014-05-04T13:47:38.547+05:30A Walk To Remember<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Domine; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> We belong to a generation where love is too mainstream and commercialized and from the days of being a complex emotion it has become a full blown obsession</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Prajavala (P) the typical Delhi Uber cool girl, the proper fashioniesta who probably learnt the catwalk before she could talk </span></span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-74a2fd7b-c457-f866-718b-73b9ac47c1b6" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Anita (A) the usual mom with a tongue in cheek demeanor, a doting mother but her sarcastic retorts sometimes rubbed Prajavala the wrong way</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">P: Mom I think I have found my soul mate!</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A: Soulmate as in SOUL or SOLE because this the third guy you are telling me about, and I am appalled by your lexicon and wonder if you mean Soulmate as the one you go to shoe shopping with?</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">P: Enough already mom! He is truly the one, a proper gentleman, he knows how to treat a lady and yet be assertive, and he exudes confidence.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A: hmm or maybe you just like the cologne he wears, anyway what's his profession?</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">P: He is an entrepreneur and brings in new ideas to the........</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A: So basically his dad is rich right?</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">P: Yeah but he runs his own company, anyway mom he makes me feel special, I glow up like a firefly around him, I truly value his calm and composed nature</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A: oh sweetie you are special, I knew that when you hit your head three times in a row when you were young, and I am sure it’s a tough job to be calm and composed in the stressful environment of a lounge or a restaurant not all men can do that !</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">P: Forget it mom, your generation will never understand what true love is, I wonder how dad fell for you though?</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A: look at your nose honey that's one thing you got from your dad and you hate it, imagine being stuck with his entire face, it's not like he had a choice. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(Prajavala storms out annoyed and infuriated, and Anita could not help but laugh at the situation) </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Anita after the usual chores gets ready to visit Praful</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> On The way she stopped to pick up some roses and yet again cursed Praful under her breath anita always wondered how strange it was that Praful always made her buy flowers she knew that in their relationship lay the essence of a divine satire, she was the pragmatist and Praful the emotional fool</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> The bus was effectively empty that day and the absence of all the commotion sent her to a trip down the memory lane.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Visions of the flamboyant haircuts, the step cuts and not to forget the mithun style bell bottoms that Praful used to sport in their youth the numerous scooter rides and the secret calls from the telephone booths.</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> She remembered the time they fell in love, then their marriage and how they kept the romance alive.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Her thoughts drifted back to Prajavala's incredulous notions, she wondered how people travel to exotic destinations to rekindle their love, of the escapades to Switzerland and Bahamas and was amused as to how the times have changed, all it took for them to keep the fire alive was a kulfi together.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> She witnessed Praful's evolution, she saw how a boy turns into a man when they hold their kids in their arms she remembered how he who found it daunting to sit out an entire lecture, submit to a morose desk job, Maybe that was the reason Prajavala never saw the love between them, they were caught up in the pangs of parenthood</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> She glanced through the window; it was dreamy outside and relived the moments which have passed, the jokes, the tomfoolery, moments where they talked just for the pleasure of hearing each other's voice and the times of silence when their eyes did most of the talking. And for a brief period of time she could feel a warm hand upon hers </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">How foolish of her she thought, to miss him just before she was about to meet him </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span></b><br>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> She saw a young girl look at the roses with longing and then it struck her, maybe Praful was saving money by making her buy flowers, he was a Casanova maybe he had a fling</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> With a sly smile she walked towards the gate</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> P: here, keep them if you want they were for my husband, but I think he would want you to have them </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She got down the bus, it was still a short walk down a Boulevard, she wondered about the great romances people talk about the ones too good to be true perhaps that's why their story was not perfect it was just good enough, humming Praful's favorite song she trudged along </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(Meanwhile the girl with the roses wondered, how someone could be so cheerful before walking down a cemetery) </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Anita finally met Praful and even though he was lying beneath an obelisk, she could still feel his Smile and sitting beside him she said</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> "</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #c00000; font-size: 24px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sorry dear, no flowers for you today" </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13995052457348077374noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1520217130006777397.post-16452261525919979732014-04-26T12:00:00.000+05:302014-04-26T12:00:03.839+05:30Disturbia<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Oh life oh universe </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">What have I done to make thee so adverse? </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">All I did, all I do, all the ribald expressions </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Are meant in good humor, as sarcasm is my oldest obsession </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And so you chose me to be the butt of thy cruelest joke</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Of the most evil fashion </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You gave me a life devoid of any passion </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">For years I have been wandering like a vagabond </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Ignorance is at its paramount </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">They say Ignorance is bliss </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But this bliss has left me with blisters </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">What remains is rubble of dreams and ambitions lying about in cinders </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> I feel envious of the ants </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">All in one line, focused and marching along in a unified formation</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And I look into the mirror searching for the curious kid, who believed in innovation </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The kid that once peeped is long gone, what stares back is a crippled soul </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">In search of a source to push him into an even deeper oblivion </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Give me a sign or else I may be forever lost, show me a glimpse of hope</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> Or else where there used to be candle, will lurk a ghost of a flame </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">All my life have I been just a bane? </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> I gaze at the stars as they too flicker </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> I drench myself in their pale glitter </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> And as Twilight approaches I recede </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> The sunlight is too bright to bear</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> My eyes tell me and so does my heart </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> That I was made for the dark! </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> If there is no silver lining, if you indeed think I am not worthwhile </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> Why not shove me down into an even deeper and darker aisle? </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I stand on the edge of an abyss</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Waiting for a gentle breeze</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">They say falling feels like flying</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Finally I will be at ease</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">At least I will go down with wind in my hair</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The airiness will blow away the despair</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">With eyes wide open I embrace the fall</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">With hatred for none and malice for all</span></i></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13995052457348077374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1520217130006777397.post-52092053034848919962014-03-12T00:02:00.000+05:302015-09-25T08:57:48.064+05:30The Transcendence<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 29px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The Transcendence</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Time has always been an enigmatic topic, the more we discover about it, the more elusive it becomes. There are some events in our life which… which makes us believe that the sands of time are flowing back. Is it indeed that or are we watching the whole thing upside down? This feeling which has now become a clichéd term. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“DÉJÀ VU”</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 19px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(Prantik; the youngest in a family still torn by the Bengal partition)</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There are people who spend almost their entire lifetime at a place, but still they cannot say that they belong there. They have comfort. They have memories, friends, but still cannot call that place their home.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For Prantik, even though his family moved to Unnao when he was a toddler, he had always heard his father, uncles, and elder brothers whining about their home. Even though, they were neither richer nor poorer than the other middle-class families, yet there whole community faced identity crisis. They gave up their lands, their homes. They moved away from their home, where they cherished their childhood, the old were envious of the ones who lay in the graves back home and even after a bountiful harvest, The grain tasted bland, and even in face of happiness, everybody was anxious as if they were trapped in quick sand.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">One-day, Prantik woke up to find his mother packing a suitcase, “Your dad will be leaving this weekend; some buyers have approached him about the last piece of land that we own back at home. He hasn’t slept for days, he says he feels like he is selling off one of his new born, but lands that far-out help nobody. Get up now, you are to see him off at the station.”</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At the station while moving towards the train, his father was in a pensive mood, “It will be a good year son. We will have a substantial amount of money, but it is nothing without respect. Prantik, remember one thing…All the money of the world, would not give you satisfaction, until you command the respect of the society. Promise me one thing, you will work hard, make a place for yourself among the elite. Knock off every one off their perch and stuff a boot down the throat of anyone who says that you don’t belong here. Promise me that you will not be insignificant! , that you will be remembered ….”</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>A few months before, Prantik had not thought much of it, but since they may well be his father’s last words to him, he could not help but think of it as his last wish.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It had been months since his father last made contact, the most optimistic of the villagers were also losing their hope.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-17d4cd69-b26a-0b34-3900-59b899169c6a" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A few days later….</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It seemed to him that someone had landed a sucker punch, straight on his face.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">They received the news that the train their father was boarding had been raided by the naxals. Most of the passengers on the train were either killed or decapitated. Given the amount of money his father had on him, there was no reason to expect otherwise.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Even tears were missing from Prantik’s eyes. Although his father had always been a typical patriarch, still the vulnerability, his father showed in his last meeting grieved him.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">They were clueless as to how the family would function. They were mere kids, who were now fatherless. All their dreams and aspirations relied on the prospect of the money, which was not in the picture anymore. Feeling morose and depressed, he started moving towards river.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>As he sat there watching the sunset, he started pondering about the death. He tried to understand and comprehend whether death was a final frontier or was it just the start of a new journey. All the memories, half-remembered dreams all formed a beautiful collage in his head. All that was missing was a glimpse of future. He wanted a sign, at least a hint that there was still some happiness waiting for him. Just then, his eyes fell upon a shiny pebble. He could see the eyes peering out of it. They were strangely familiar, and looking into them comforted him. He felt energized and determined. With a sudden jolt, he realized that they might be his father’s eyes. He ran towards the pebble, but the stream had carried it off.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He remembered his father’s last wish and decided to act on it.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Many years later…</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>He was on the road to the village again. He was driving a car instead of riding a bullock cart. It was a much faster way, though his son complained, but it was not his fault. After all, the bullock cart also felt slow to him at that age.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He managed to achieve some recognition and respect. He was a professor at a reputed university, although he was still hungry for more. Visiting his village made him wonder on how far he had come. Their mother had passed away, and regret was gnawing him. The lust for power and his insatiable ambition had not let him visit her for two years, and now that she was gone, all that seemed so shallow.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After the cremation and usual grieving rants of the family, he walked once again towards the shore. He found it amazing how some things never change.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The shore laid waiting, as it was the day, his father died. All emotions engulfed him like a hurricane. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Guilt, remorse and pity</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> for neglecting her mother in her last days.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Gratitude</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, towards people who finally considered him valuable.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Relief</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, as he could provide his son with resources, He could only dream of at his age, and sheer </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">wonder</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, as to how a person like him landed such a wife, who loved him dearly, even after him being the least romantic psycho. Tears of </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">tranquility</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> crept down his cheeks. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As he looked towards the stream, just then a ‘PEBBLE’ drifted towards him, although it was worn by the flow it still showed the eyes, but this time the eyes were not of a grown man but of a little child. He knew then, why the eyes felt comforting. They were his own eyes. The last time around, he chased after the stone, but this time. </span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1500000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 48px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">’He let it go’</span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Oldenburg; font-size: 48px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13995052457348077374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1520217130006777397.post-76660152675092779272013-10-17T01:51:00.002+05:302014-03-12T00:30:20.301+05:30The Reluctant Romeo<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 21px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>The Reluctant Romeo</b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: large;">Well, to start with the conversation, I would like to share a little something about me, I am a creature of habit, you see, I believe that planning is what makes you human, so it really annoys me when people around me seem so eager to change, you see I like stability, I appreciate order and uniformity, I have been buying the same type of clothes, stationary for ten years, I believe in minimalism.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: large;">I work as a Data Analyst in a finance firm and to describe my job title, I would say that , even my boss hardly understands my work, but he sure values me, as I keep the revenues flowing.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: large;">Anyhow, you see I take precisely two breaks during my six hour shift, all of them are spent by first taking a drink of water at the cooler beside the inverter, followed by a sandwich, so imagine my plight, when I came to know that the office was being ‘renovated’ , I thought that why can't we just ‘repair’ why on earth should anyone renovate a perfectly functional thing</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: large;">Anyways, I took my usual trip to the cooler, which by the way was only used by me because , it was the only cooler present, when I joined the office, it was now a crammed corner with photocopiers and what not, and to add to my misery, along with the already existing noisy inverter , were installed reflecting window panes, I filled my glass and at that precise moment , I saw her face, reflected from the glass .</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: large;">I knew I was straight, but honestly never yearned commitment, until I saw her, the word ‘beautiful’ , for me , had been just one of the words men use to describe proportionate women, but something about her, in spite of being an analyst , I could not comprehend it , attracted me to her, I cancelled out carnal ambition , because she was rather average looking, I cancelled out any involuntary response to perfume etc. because I couldn't smell any , I don’t understand , but for some strange reason, I yearned for her attention</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: large;">I walked back to my desk, and halfway through I realized for the first time in ten years of my tenure , I was returning thirsty , yet somehow it felt great, in the days which followed, I noticed some change in me, I was picking clothes, I took a conscious effort to look good, although my quirks did not entirely leave me , I was still mad about order and non-randomness</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: large;">But now I visited the water cooler more often, there have been moments , when I felt that she looked back at me, I can't say for sure , maybe she was just glancing away from the computer screen , but I thought or rather I hoped that we saw each other, I noticed the most trivial of her habits, she always kept a fresh batch of jasmine on her desk, and I thought “hey that’s something we have in common she also has her own idiosyncrasy”.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: large;">One day I found her seat empty, I inquired about her and came to know that she was laid off, I seriously wanted to sucker punch the HR guy but I somehow controlled my anger, and still out of habit , visited the cooler, I glanced at the glass , at her desk , and no matter how much I drank, I felt thirsty, just then at that pristine moment , I found a jasmine on the glass tray</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: large;">I like to think it was from her, I like the thought of her noticing me, to think that she too felt something, but I never inquired further, you may ask “ why are you being so naive ?, why don’t you find her on Facebook, clear it out , the reason is that ‘ I don’t want to’. I want to savor the hope that she liked me, you see if it is a misconception or coincidence, so be it , I want to live in that trance forever, for the first time I acted illogically, but for the first time I felt human, see , that’s the power of naivety , you can be happy , not knowing something that may possibly be hurtful. Even if it meant nothing, it opened a portal of emotions in me, I have become more social, she without ever uttering a word, invoked a desire in me , to be a better man, I am more caring and sensitive now , so that the next time I meet her, or the next time that same sensation resonates within me</span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13995052457348077374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1520217130006777397.post-69003843612723329502013-10-17T01:47:00.002+05:302014-10-03T00:01:15.401+05:30The Despicable Altruist<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i><br /><b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">'<span style="font-size: large;">From the moment we are born, we feel that , how we become or what we do, we are the sole participant, but somehow, all our lives are interconnected. You are but a mere pawn . You try, you rip your heart out for a small moment of solace, but all you get is more malice</span></span></b></i><b><i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">.' </span></i></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Those were the thoughts or let's say his life until now for Satvik; he was sitting alone along the rail tracks, pipe weed in his hand. He could hear the whistles of police patrol nearby, for the first time, despite being a smack-head, he had actually committed a felony and for the first time in years, he felt alive, maybe it was the adrenaline, or maybe it was the time away from the cruel judgemental eyes of the society </span><br />
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A Month before -- </span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br />On a high bed, beside a pile of filth (read beer bottles) rests an equally despicable mess, Satvik, lost in his dreams.T he only place, he knows where he was wanted, the only place where he can stroll without the burden of speculation. But albeit his weak senses,his responsibilities ,his compulsive need to protect those dear to him, , drew him away from his oasis. <br /><br /><br /><b><i>"I have to go pick Atharva, he needs me"</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Atharva, the apple of the eye of the old man. I should not let him explore the dark alleys which I can call my home now. He left ‘'earnest in the stride’’, cause he was doing what little he could do for his family. Satvik & Atharva, Sons of the fallen whistle-blower bureaucrat Parakram Dhaka, Their childhood, they spent seeing their father in a position of Power, the proud lion, righteous as God.<br /><br /><br /> All changed when their father was a scapegoat in the same scandal he exposed, their teenage experience from that point on was poles apart. They saw an alcoholic nutcase moping through the house. He was the same lion, except that now he was in shackles. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Satvik, was fickle minded, restless, incredulous.His father could not handle him, '<b>Urchin'</b>,he called him, not realizing that he was in many ways what he had been; he had learning disabilities stemming from hyperactivity,that coupled with the cane and preaching at school. turned him into a downright rebel. furrowed brows and frowns was what he received everywhere.<br /><br /><br />Things got better and worse when Atharva came into their lives, his mother Shyamdasi was busy nursing him because he was born underweight, although the attention he got in lieu of body mass was enough to smother generations</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> As for Parakram , this was a new beginning, he earmarked him as his heir, and somewhere down the road Satvik was left stranded, he doted on his kid brother, because jealousy and malice had no place in his heart. He was the one who taught him to run around with a bat. He was the one who shielded him from the rage of the drunken devil which possessed their father at night. They were close until Atharva, though bright he was, viewed the true face of his brother as a mask, he always tried to see through him, because he could not imagine anyone being so selfless. He groped for the ends of the mask, which was not there. <br /><br /><br /><b><i> “I want to fly, fly far away, but I look down on Atharva, I feel my wings wither, what will become of them without me, who can take so much malice, but me, I must and I will shield them from the old man, until I no longer could, Anyways , its oasis time now. I'm off. I want a hit”. </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">With that thought Satvik lit his second joint of the day. Addiction took him young,although he met his devil first in a benign way. As a child, he loved to paint, he approached his father for a brush, he got the cane instead,<i><b>'' Go out and play’’,"do something that men should do" </b></i>, he said. Painting, for him as was music was <b style="font-style: italic;">‘'too feminine'' .</b>Satvik due to his restlessness took a long time to learn to ride a bicycle<i>,</i> his father watched on as he fell, never a word of encouragement, always a smirk of disappointment, he was considered effeminate by his father.<br /><br /><br /> Satvik found art around the block, he saw a painter laying out lines on a white board, he requested him to let him draw, his work was nifty, he got applauded for the first time, that too by a stranger!, but along with it came the first whiff of ‘thinner', he could not drive away the urge to embrace that smell, he started to keep it handy , after dealing with his drunk old man at night, he would plunge into ecstasy, uncork the bottle and take the <b><i>'thin' </i></b>road. It was a downhill ride from then on, grades deterred, his innocence withered, he knew very well what he had become, but found it better to live in trances and not face the misery.<br /><br /><br /> The only thing which kept him on the edge of sanity was his aim, to keep misery and suffering away from Atharva because he was and always will be his ‘Lil' bro, gifted in maths, '<b>masculine'</b>. He was his Dad's only hope.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> All that emotion, all that love made him explode with anger when he found a joint under his brother's bed, he cried, because inspite of all the failures he had amassed throughout his life, he failed at what he thought was most dear to him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He confronted Atharva. The response he got crippled his soul:<br /><br /><br /> "So that was your game, Satvik, all those years cozying up to me, Trying to be my friend. I played along when we were young. <br /><br /><br />"I was so naïve, you always envied me, you wished ,I was never born, I could see you moping around like a mongrel yearning dad's attention, you know what, I don't need you to shield me anymore, yeah that was weed that you found there, what do you expect you are the only one who had it hard or that being a faggot gives you the right to feel in the dumps, try bearing the loads of expectation of the freaking family on your shoulders , go ahead and run to Dad, tell him what you found, let's see what havoc could the drunken buffoon bring upon me today, and if you don't have the balls for it put it down and leave, and take your caring ways with you if you could''.<br /><br /><br /> These exchanges with Atharva left Satvik petrified.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i> ''Even him, even my beloved brother, thinks that way,'</i> Old buffoon' after all the love he got, he called Dad that, he should not know this or he would lose his will to live, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>‘balls', talking about guts, It was this ‘'faggot'' who withstood the brunt of Dad's beating for your sake while you were down on Ma's lap weeping like a widow, balls!, that two-bit punk!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">For the first time in years he felt rage, although it quickly subsided as he heard raised voices from Atharva's room.<br /><br /><br /> It was the weed, the old man had caught him red-handed, he had to intervene!, he paced down the hall, and as a punch was about to fall on Atharva's gut he yelled ‘'IT WAS ME! , <i>I'm sorry I left it under his pillow by accident.'' </i><br /><br /><i>PARAKRAM: I KNEW IT, I always knew, you were weak, At least you are man enough, to drain your frustration in weed, I expected you to run like a girl to your mommy and cry.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"> That was it, he could not take it anymore, he had to put his suppressed anger into words tonight, he had to let poison flow from his mouth tonight. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /><br /><i>SATVIK: So it's man enough to drown each day In that God forsaken bottle ! , I wanted to paint, that was too ‘feminine' for you, you have been living and drinking off Maa's earnings,what do you know ? , and listen up old man! A man does not have only balls, he provides, he fights for his family, when there is still hope left.</i><br /><br /><br /><i>PARAKRAM: "Enough! Enough talk for a samckhead. What were you ever good at, always a loser! Shame on me, to have brought an imbecile like you, into this world. Furthermore, you tried to ruin my gem of a boy ! . You filthy swine ! , , Leave now and never come back, hit the road, drop my name, I don't want you in our lives anymore".</i><br /><br /><br /> Satvik looked at Atharva, he saw remorse, he felt good at last, there was something to hope for, he wanted to give him up for a moment but the tears in his brother's eyes held him back, without any retort, he left, the ‘Dhaka pride' was him in too, he left without any money.<br /><br /><br /> He boarded the bus, relieved himself of the little change he had left, and reached the park across town, from here on, started his struggle for his existence. <br /><br /><br /><i>He came across a weird fact one day ,that the car locks were sensitive to pressure; he took a tennis ball, ripped a gash through it and setting it against it against the lock of cars without safety alarms, opened doors to open the petrol lid</i></span><br />
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Today…. </span></h4>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">After returning from the tracks, he searched the car for money, but instead found photographs, he found what he always yearned to have.</span></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> there were photos of a child in a park with his family, a few of the rarest good memories came flooding back to him, he for the first time thought ; 'did I give up on them too early, should I go back ? ' and by some pull, maybe he was missing Mom's food. He started the car to leave; maybe he left in <i><b>too much of a hurry</b></i>.</span><br />
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Meanwhile...</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> Shyamdasi, had seen and tolerated enough, after a month of searching with absolutely No news they got a call that a body was found in a stolen car matching Satvik's description, she approached Parakram. He refused to take her for identification, what followed was a tempest of emotions. <br /><br /><br /><i>Shyamdasi: He died a thief but something tells me that he was heading home, have you forgotten that you were the one who put him down with brandy, just because he ran after you a lot, for years I have seen his passions crushed !. He had been a bad son, but you were no father to him either. A father would have shown him to take pride in his uniqueness, but you were just a bully to him !. If you don't come with me, today I will leave without you, just because I have bent for you charismatic ways till now, doesn't mean that I'm weak. My resilience has ended and if there remains in you a single bit of the man you were before you will come with me.</i><br /><br /><br /> Seeing his son lying motionless in front of him something snapped inside Parakram. He felt pain that no one can numb, because although he died in an accident, it seemed as though he was strangled , his eyes were open as if watching an unfinished dream.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> The coroner brought in what was found on him, among the usual rubble, there was <b><i>a crumpled photograph</i></b>, behind it scribbled with a dying hand </span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I forgive you dad <br />I hope you forgive me <br />And most of all, forgive yourself</span></i></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13995052457348077374noreply@blogger.com0